No More Remakes!

It really, really bothers me when someone calls a movie that's based on a book a "remake" of another movie based on the same book. And then when they call the earlier movie version the "original." I've heard people do this a lot, especially with Pride and Prejudice (2005) and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The latter doesn't even have the same title as the other movie based on that book! (The novel's title has "Charlie" by the way, not "Willy Wonka.") These movies, and dozens of others, are not based on any films; they are based NOVELS! So, therefore, they are not remakes, but new adaptations of those novels.

That's my rant. Good night.

Dear John

A fruitless hope is falling in love with

Someone who's already dead.

I don't recommend it.

To be divided by centuries is

Far worse than being star-crossed.

I sat on a hard metal stool

Between book shelves, a worn

And tattered volume on my knees.

Its pages were rough between

My fingers, its scent of memory.

The words, full of sweet

Somethings, written to a lover

I imagined was me (fair creature

Of an hour). Darling Girl

Should be my name.

If only I could be married

To a poem!

The final letter, from Rome,

In November, before the magic

Hand of chance closed forever

Your gloom-pleased eyes,

Made me cry, and think.

Dear John, I love you, but

It will never work.

Before I cease to be, I will

Dry out many ballpoint pens, whether

My words fill high-piled, worn

And tattered books

Or not.

(This is about John Keats, in case you couldn't tell.)

Exquisite Corpse

Yesterday in my creative writing class we took a break from form poetry and dove into some French existentialism. We did a class activity called the "Exquisite Corpse" (don't ask me why it's called that; those French are crazy) in which we sat in a circle, each person with a piece of paper. Everyone would write a line of poetry, putting the last word of the line on the next line. Then we folded the paper so that only that last word was visible and passed it to the person next to us, who then had to use that word as the first word of the next line. (It sounds more complicated than it is.) My professor gave us prompts for each line, like "modify a noun using an unexpected adjective." It was fun. At the end, when everyone had their original papers back, we read the poems out loud and shook with riotous laughter. Mine, which I titled "Lady Macbeth, Uncut," is as follows:

Hope is the first snowflake of winter is the hottest season of the year that smells like nails on a chalkboard sounds like Steve Erwin in the jungle birds chirp when I cry at home is the best place to experience warm sunshine smile waiting to punch me in the mouth of Katty, which is clean to talk with springtime drawing near, fishermen are out gardening their gardens with buckets and hoes ga nihogonai, totemo utsukashi, but her Japanese had fallen out of use since high school hadn't done her well, off to college she will go, just go! walk into that fluffy door like a past time never let the sun rise again more work in less time is porous and deserves our contempt is what the chair felt when it yelled, get out! damned spot, it looks like mud

It sort of reminds me of Jack Kerouac, except it's not nearly as pretentious. Here's another poem I wrote for creative writing, one of those form poems we needed a break from. This form is called a villanelle, and it's sort of complicated to explain how the form works, but I don't think you really need to know how it works. The title, "Villain Nell," is a pun on the name of the form.


Villain Nell was just misunderstood
She didn't want to be so very bad
The thing she wanted most was to be good

She'd be a superhero if she could
But didn't want to disappoint her dad
Villain Nell was just misunderstood

She only did what anybody would
She wasn't really trying to be bad
The thing she wanted most was to be good

So when she led a man into the wood
To leave him there, she wasn't very glad
Villain Nell was just misunderstood

And when the forest floor was red with blood
Villain Nell was happy but a tad!
The thing she wanted most was to be good

So Villain Nell did everything she could
To be heroic, but it made her sad
Villain Nell was just misunderstood
The thing she wanted most was to be good


I know, it's kind of dark, but she's a villain!

Rhonda's Essential Guide to Girl Power (this has nothing to do with the Spice Girls)

This is basically my version of Oprah's Favorite Things. I compiled a list of what my favorite things to read, watch, listen to, wear, and create with were over the past month or so and realized that many of them are quite feminine in nature (which makes sense in the "wear" category, I suppose). So put on a tiara and revel in the girliness!
Read:
Memoir- Someday My Prince Will Come (Jerramy Fine)
Subtitled "The True Adventures of a Wannabe Princess," this story is a charming, clever (at the risk of being cliche) modern-day fairy tale. Fine's relentless anglophilia and obsession with royalty, even as an adult, made my childhood fascination with Cinderella and Marie Antoinette, which still surfaces from time to time and I've always felt a bit self-conscious about, seem downright normal.

Psychology- Spinning Straw into Gold (Joan Gould)
Continuing in the fairy tale theme, Gould shows "what fairy tales reveal about the transformations in a woman's life." She discusses just about every fairy tale you've ever heard of, and a few you probably haven't, and explains how the ancient cultures that these stories originated from used them to illuminate the stages of human life (for both genders, but the focus in the book is on female life stages).

Poetry- Sonnets from the Portuguese (Elizabeth Barrett Browning)
A collection of forty-four sonnets written to her husband, Robert (yeah, Robert Browning; yes, the Robert Browning), this wasn't originally written in Portuguese. It's a clever title, though, isn't it? Sonnets contains one of the most famous poems in the English language: "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."

Novel- Rebecca (Daphne Du Maurier)
Alfred Hitchcock directed the film version of this 1938 novel, which was the perfect choice for the suspenseful psychological drama. The narrator is never given a first name, but it is mentioned that her name is "lovely and unusual," so, while I haven't done the research to know if there is a real scholarly debate about it, I've decided the narrator's name must be Daphne.

Magazine- April 2009 Marie Claire
There's a feature in the latest issue titled "We'll Show You Who's Funny" that's about women in comedy. Associate editor Yael Kohen interviewed a bevy of female comedy greats and a couple of up-and-comers, including Joan Rivers, Carol Burnett, Mary Tyler Moore, Janeane Garofalo, Suzanne Somers, Lisa Kudrow, and, my favorite, Kristen Wiig from SNL (plus there were a few that I'm not the biggest fan of, like Margaret Cho and Roseanne Barr, but, hey, they're doing their thing).

Listen:
Pop/Rock- Wild Hope (Mandy Moore)
Britney? Christina? Jessica? Who? This is Moore's first grown-up album, with more of a singer-songwriter/indie feel than her bubblegum debut ten years ago. It's legit. And I have to admit that a good portion of my love for this album belongs to the gorgeous cover art, with its warm lighting, outdoor settings and vintage-bohemian style.

Pop/R&B- Rockferry (Duffy)
The big hit from this album was last summer's "Mercy," a funk-infused, infectious pop song. The rest of the record is a little different, a little mellower, a little more soulful, and really fun to sing with, belting it at the top of your lungs!

Classic blues- Billie's Best (Billie Holiday)
Billie was the best. Even though it's hard not to imagine her singing the Oscar Meyer Bologna song since reading David Sedaris's Me Talk Pretty One Day, her voice and her songs still hold up.

Podcast- "Twilight Series Theories" (Kallie and Kassie)
An addictive podcast in which a Texan sister duo discusses Stephenie Meyer's addictive book series. I "tried out" several Twilight-focused podcasts before I narrowed it down to this one. Maybe because they're sisters, or maybe because their personalities are so clearly different from each other's, or both, the hosts have a dynamic that just works. Plus, they're very listener-oriented; most of the show is dedicated to reading and discussing listener feedback to the question of the week. Did I mention it's addictive? (To read my thoughts on Twilight, click here .)

Watch:
Reality series- Running in Heels (Style Network)
This is kind of like a smarter, less annoying and vapid version of The City. It follows three editing interns at Marie Claire magazine. There have only been two episodes so far, but I've already been sucked in.

Classic musical- My Fair Lady (1964)
Audrey Hepburn couldn't sing worth beans, but she's so delightful!

"Teen" mystery series- Veronica Mars (UPN/CW)
I own all three seasons of this brilliant show on DVD, and lately my roommate has been watching them for the first time. If I, you know, just happen to be in the living room or something and she's watching that great episode with the 80s dance where Veronica dresses like Madonna and Meg wears that horrid dress from Pretty in Pink, or the one where the dead guy washes up on the beach and he has Veronica's name written on his hand (creepy!), or any of the episodes with Alyson Hannigan (love her!), I might just casually sink down onto the futon and watch for awhile.

Essential female buddy comedy- Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion (1997)
Me too! Now, ordinarily when you make glue you need to thermoset your resin. And then, you add in a poxide, which is really just a fancy-schmancy word for any simple unoxygenated adhesive, right? Well, I thought, maybe, just maybe, you could increase the viscocity by adding a carbon derviative during the emulsification process. It turns out, I was right.

Wear:
Nail polish- "Broadway Burgundy" Long-wearing Nail Enamel (New York Color)
Scent- "Sheer Freesia" Body Splash (Bath & Body Works)
Sunglasses- Over-size Cat Eyes (Forever 21)
Bag- "Polka Dots" Messenger Bag (Olive N Figs)
Sneakers- Low-top Chuck Taylor All-Stars (Converse)

Create:
Software- Celtx
Notebook- Leather Cover Ruled Reporter (Moleskine)
Decor- Peel-and-Stick Wall Decals (WallPops)
Pencils- Ticonderoga No. 2 Soft Pencils (Dixon)

Become My Fan on Facebook!

Here is a link to my "celebrity" Facebook page. (Click the title of this post.) Now, I know what you're thinking: "But Rhonda, you're not a celebrity. You don't even have your own reality show on E! or a crazy-rich geezer husband with possible ties to the Mafia." This is true, but I am trying to get more people to read my writing. This seemed like a good way to do it. So just click the link, would ya? If you're already logged in to Facebook it will take you right to my page. If you're not, it will take you to the log in page, and then to my writer profile. Click "Become a fan" and write something on my wall! Thanks!

Random Updates

So, it's been awhile since I posted anything. I'm not feeling particularly creative at the moment, but I do have three topics of interest, completely unrelated to one another, that I will address.

(1) I've been listening to No Line on the Horizon pretty much nonstop since my CD copy came yesterday. I wanted it in CD format because I want to stick it to iTunes, and I'm kind of an old-fashioned girl. My favorite songs right now are "Magnificent" and "Unknown Caller." "Magnificent" has an awesome bass line, comparable to any from War (which has the best bass lines: "New Year's Day," "Sunday Bloody Sunday," etc.), in my opinion. And that guitar solo on "Unknown Caller"? There are no words.

(2) I wrote a sonnet for an assignment in my poetry class. The point of the assignment was to show us how hard it is to write iambic pentameter, or some such nonsense. Not to brag or anything, but I got a perfect score. Here it is:

I need the consolation of poetry,
For when I am distressed I lack the words
To render true my sensibility;
My efforts at such times effect absurd.
Though I do often wonder whether art
Is more disposed to famish than to feed
That growing flow'r of goodness in the heart
That drinks its fill of words, so lacks the need.
And when my mind cannot attune the two,
This virtue and this creativity,
I cannot help but wonder what I'd do
If either quality belonged to me!
But when the two are joined, a wonder's wrought,
For then a poem is born, the bloom long-sought.

(3) I have another article being printed in the Ellensburg Daily Record. I don't know exactly what day they're running it, but it will be before Tuesday. I'll check it every day and see. It's a story on this artist named David Garibaldi who's coming to Central to do this show where he paints six-foot portraits in just a few minutes, right there on stage. I actually got to interview him over the phone a couple days ago for the article. For any of my readers that are interested I'll try to get a copy of the paper (that'll be, what, three copies?).

Here's a link to the press release (which I also wrote) on the Daily Record's website.

This is just the press release, not the actual story.The story is much more interesting.

So that's the biggest news in my life right now. Until next time, over.

Five Cover Songs That Are As Good As, If Not Better Than, The Originals

Cover songs: We've all heard them. Sometimes they're good, if unoriginal, copies of songs that were hits in their time. Sometimes they're heinous musical crimes that should be locked up in a vault and thrown to the bottom of the ocean. But every once in awhile an artist records a cover of another artist's song that is not only respectful of the original, but even presents something new musically. Here are five of my favorites.

"Sunday Bloody Sunday"
Original Artist: U2 (1983)
Cover Artist: Pillar (2004)
It might be bordering on blasphemy (against the gods of Rock) to say that any artist could play a U2 song better than U2, but Pillar comes pretty close. With a harder, more distorted guitar-heavy sound and less of a militaristic feel to the rhythm, Pillar's changes to the rock classic are subtle, but just different enough that the song is definitely their own. And the best part? The last verse, with the lyrics "And we've only just begun/ to claim the victory that Jesus won" sung with a lot more emphasis than in the original.

"Moonshadow"
Original Artist: Cat Stevens (1971)
Cover Artist: Mandy Moore (2003)
Moore did a whole album of cover songs in 2003, and they were all pretty good, but this one was my favorite. She keeps the folk song/lullaby quality of Stevens's version, but elaborates on his guitar themes with a strings and drums orchestral build-up. Her powerful-yet-sweet voice is the more noticeable difference from the original, though, and its purity offers a nice contrast to the more complex accompaniment.

"Toxic"
Original Artist: Britney Spears (2003)
Cover Artist: Yael Naim (2007)
Remember the video for the Spears version? It was like Alias! It's still the only Britney Spears song I have ever liked, say what you will about her newest album. Naim, best known for her 2008 break-out hit "New Soul," uses her ethereal vocals and minimalist instrumentation to turn the bouncy pop song into a bittersweet love ballad.

"High and Dry"
Original Artist: Radiohead (1995)
Cover Artist: Jamie Cullum (2004)
A great rock song translated flawlessly into a great jazz song. There's really nothing more to say.

"Your Song"
Original Artist: Elton John (1970)
Cover Artist: Ewan McGregor (2001)
This is from this little movie that came out in 2001. I don't know if you've heard of it, but it's called Moulin Rouge. It's pretty awesome. The song, like the movie, is totally over-the-top, turning Elton John's simple little love anthem into a Big Musical Number, complete with back-up vocals, a full orchestra and band, dramatic crescendoes and decrescendoes and an opera singer (Alessandro Safina). The biggest, and most pleasant, surprise is McGregor's voice; who knew Obi-Wan Kenobi could sing? (And, yes, Dad, he rides a mean BMW.)

***

And, here are just a couple of the worst cover songs (those ones that should be locked in a vault and thrown to the bottom of the ocean- except I would feel bad for the fish that had to listen to them):
-"I Want Candy"- Aaron Carter
-"Our Lips Are Sealed"- Hilary and Haley Duff
-"I Love Rock 'N Roll"- Britney Spears
-"All Summer Long"- Kid Rock (technically not a cover, but it samples "Sweet Home Alabama." Dude, you don't mess with Skynyrd.)

Friday: the Best Night on Television?

I have previously awarded this title to Monday, what with How I Met Your Mother (CBS), Privileged (CW), and now the surprisingly addictive True Beauty (ABC; although I shouldn't be surprised, since it is a Banks/Kutcher production). But now I have reason to believe that Fridays, traditionally the Black Hole of TV nights where good shows go to die (the brilliant Firefly, the at least fresh and charming Ex-List), will now be the best night of the week, TV-wise. Here's why:

8:00- Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles (FOX). I've missed a lot of the second season so far because it was on Mondays, the second half of its time slot being the same as HIMYM. But the more-than-adequate first season has me convinced that I won't be disappointed. Plus, the upcoming release of the new movie Terminator: Salvation could very well give the ratings a much-needed boost.

9:00- Dollhouse (FOX). Created by Joss Whedon (Buffy; Firefly) and starring Eliza Dushku (Buffy; Tru Calling), this show seems like a dream come true. In a not-so-distant future, an underground, illegal operation hires people to have their memories erased, then "uploads" new memories into their brains for them to perform different jobs (hostage negotiator, escort, clown at a kid's birthday party, anything) for clients. It could have potential. If it can make it past the FOX curse, then its Feb. 13 series premiere could signify the beginning of an era.

10:00- Battlestar Galactica (Sci-Fi Network). The best frakkin' show on TV, if you ask me. The final half of its final season starts next Friday, Jan. 16. Who is the final cylon? What happened to Earth? Are the Lords of Kobol real? Will Hera and Nicky, the Hybrid kids, have any significance? Will Starbuck and Apollo finally get together for good (even though Anders is a good guy, for a cylon)? All burning questions that had better be answered, or I'm going to be writing some very stern letters.

Sorry to get all Entertainment Weekly on you, but it looks like I'm going to be one of those nerds who stays at home every Friday night. (Oh, wait, I already am... but at least now I'll have something better to watch than The Ghost Whisperer. Seriously.) In the words of The Cure, "It's Friday, I'm in love!"

When I Am Famous...

I won't be famous until after I've done a few best friend and sister roles, but then I'll be cast as the leading lady in a huge blockbuster, and that will be my big break. I'll be on the cover of all the gossip magazines and on the Tonight Show and Tyra.

After all the buzz dies down a little, I'll take some similar roles, trying to replicate my previous success, but they'll all be flops. Then, fearing that my career has already peaked, I'll fall into a cycle of drug use and rehab, repeating several times until I take up Kaballah or Scientology or cheesemaking or knitting and kick the habit for good. Then I'll be on the cover of Vanity Fair.

Inspired by my new-found lust for life, I'll take a role in a quirky, low-budget indie film, for which I will be nominated for an Academy Award. (Eventually, I will receive a total of three Oscar nominations, but I won't win until the third time.)

Then I'll go on Inside the Actors' Studio. These are my answers to the ten questions:

1. What is your favorite word?
-"Sudoku"
2. What is your least favorite word?
-"Hurry"
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
-Perfect peace of mind
4. What turns you off?
-Stress
5. What is your favorite curse word?
-"Bangers and Mash," and yes, I know it's technically not a curse word. I'm not even sure what exactly it means, but it's so fun to say, for instance, when you stub your toe or hit your head- and I hit my head on stuff a lot- you just go "Bangers and Mash!" and it's so satisfying.
6. What sound or noise do you love?
-I actually really love bag pipes
7. What sound or noise do you hate?
-Someone singing off-key
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
-Tour guide
9. What profession would you not like to do?
-Substitute teacher
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
-"Well done, my good and faithful servant. Bathroom's over there." Because I'll probably have to go to the bathroom.

Then, after a string of highly-publicized romances with very famous, very handsome movie stars, all of which will end in bitter breakups, I will finally find true love with a director or a producer, or maybe a cameraman. We will be married in a multimillion dollar ceremony attended by such A-listers as John Travolta, Steven Speilberg and Oprah. We'll keep the ceremony a secret, but somehow photos from the event will wind up in half the magazines in the country.

The Hollywood press will invent some nickname for my husband and me by combining our first names and we'll pose together on red carpets and get voted cutest couple. (You know there's some magazine that has a "cutest couple" award. Hollywood is just like high school, except with lots of money and better cars.)

There will come a day when a photographer will get a picture of me in an empire-waist dress, the skirt of which is being blown by the wind in such a way that it looks like I'm pregnant, but I'm not. When I am pregnant, I won't try to hide it by wearing an empire-waist dress. Baby bumps are the new iPhones.

Eventually, through some combination of adoption from third-world countries and the fruit of my own womb, my husband and I will have six children. We will name them Khaki, Soccer, Lamppost, Cerulean, Halibut and Silly Putty. We'll make play dates for them with the children of other famous people and buy them extremely expensive strollers and baby clothes. They'll be pretty much the cutest kids ever.

I'll still be taking roles in movies, but less frequently and in more family-friendly projects. Then I'll decide that I want to retire from acting and start a farm in Connecticut with my husband, who will decide that he wants to retire from directing or producing or... camera-ing. We'll move to the farm with our kids and raise sheep and horses and host a spectacular Christmas party every year that will be attended by all the biggest stars.

The kids will grow up, and four of them will just live normal lives as accountants or teachers or something. One (probably Halibut- he definitely has the most potential) will become famous in his or her own right, as a director or screenwriter or musician, and one (most likely Cerulean- she's such a freeloader) will try to just coast on the fame of his or her parents until the world realizes what's going on. Then he or she will write a tell-all book about my life, and, though it will be poorly written, it will top all the bestseller charts for weeks.

I'll live out the rest of my days on the farm in Connecticut with my husband, maybe write a novel or two, and do a lot of charity work. Yep, my life will be so great when I'm famous... not that I've thought about it that much or anything.

Alternate Endings

This is a paper that I wrote for my POES (Principles of English Studies) class. I rather liked it, and I got a good grade on it- 100%! Enjoy!

A common concept throughout literature is that of women being forced to, or choosing to, conform to the expectations placed upon them by a patriarchal society. F. Scott Fitzgerald and his contemporary James Joyce both wrote in a period of history in which women's rights were beginning to emerge and gain importance in the public mind. Joyce's “Eveline,” from his collection Dubliners, and Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby, published ten years later, both contain female characters that illustrate the conflicted attitudes toward women and gender roles at the time. The women in both stories are reflections of the progress that women were making toward equality, but also of the tendency to revert back to a male-dominated existence out of habit. Eveline in “Eveline” and Daisy in The Great Gatsby are similar in their ultimate submission to the roles assigned to them by society rather than choosing another course in life, and in their unrealistic idealization of the men that represent those courses, perpetuating patriarchal views toward both women and men.

Eveline lives in constant fear of her father's violence and works not because she wants to, but because her father cannot work to provide for the family. She is also responsible for two children, having to step into the role of a mother at the age of nineteen. On the surface, she feels obligated to stay because of “the promise to her mother, her promise to keep the home together as long as she could” (Joyce 134). But, as soon as a way out presents itself, she jumps at the chance. She believes that, “in her new home, in a distant unknown country... people would treat her with respect then” (132). Eveline is not marrying Frank because she loves him; at least, that is not the only reason, or even the main one. She wants to marry him so that she can escape her domineering, violent father and hard, working-class life. “She must escape! Frank would save her....Why should she be unhappy? She had a right to happiness” (134). By viewing Frank as a means of escape, placing him in shining armor on a white horse, so to speak, Eveline objectifies him, setting up expectations of him that are sure to be disappointed eventually and, ironically, allowing herself to be objectified as well.

Daisy seems to have an easier life than Eveline; it is certainly a more luxurious life. Her marriage to Tom appears to be, if not happy, at least stable at the beginning of the novel, despite Tom having a mistress and his apparent indifference toward their child; he interrupts Daisy when she is talking about the girl to ask Nick what he does for a living (Fitzgerald 16). Beyond this, we see very little interaction between Daisy and Tom. At the end of the novel, Nick lumps the two of them together, claiming that Daisy is shallow and careless, but we know that Nick is not a reliable narrator, and a look into Daisy's past reveals a greater depth: “Her mother had found her packing her bag one winter night to go to New York and say goodbye to a soldier who was going overseas” (82). Whether or not this soldier was Gatsby (and it is most likely safe to assume that it was), Daisy's willingness to travel from Louisville to New York simply to say good bye to him implies that she had true feelings for him. Five years later, in the present of the novel, Daisy believes herself to still be in love with Gatsby, or in love with him again, but it is clear from their disjointed conversation that they do not really know each other anymore. Daisy's plan to leave her husband for her former beau is founded on a romantic image of Gatsby that she has built in her mind, an image which is fueled by Gatsby's invented identity. She, like Eveline, is allowing herself to idealize a man that does genuinely mean something to her, but who cannot rescue her like she expects him to.

Both women, after planning to leave their respective homes and run away with the men they have idealized, do not decide so much as fail to act on their intentions, and stay in the situations they were in from the beginning. For Eveline, this situation is oddly comforting: “It was... a hard life- but now that she was about to leave it she did not find it a wholly undesirable life” (Joyce 133). Now that she has seriously thought about, even planned, making a major life change, Eveline finds that she can not. “She prayed to God to direct her, to show her what was her duty” (135). She feels that her duty is to stay with her father, and she must do her duty. To do otherwise would put her in an unfamiliar situation. Similarly, Daisy finds that she cannot completely commit to running away with Gatsby. At the moment of confrontation between him and Tom, though she still says she is resolved to leave Tom, Daisy tells Gatsby, “Even alone, I couldn't say I never loved Tom... It wouldn't be true” (Fitzgerald 139). Daisy stays with Tom not only out of duty, but because she really does want to stay with him. Though she wants Gatsby too, she feels that Tom is the safer choice. As Sarah Beebe Fryer wrote in her essay “Beneath the Mask,” Daisy's “fear of emotions and her need for stability make her cling to her unsatisfactory marriage to Tom” (47). Both women end up choosing their perceived duty over happiness (or, what they think will bring them happiness) ostensibly out of obligation, but what they are truly deferring to is fear.

Daisy is no stranger to indecision. As Jordan reveals, the night before her marriage to Tom Daisy had some serious second thoughts, presumably triggered by a letter from Gatsby (Fitzgerald 82). Whether the letter is recent or one that she has saved is unclear, but either way she goes ahead with the wedding. For Daisy, financial security is what drives her initial decision to marry Tom; “Her voice is full of money,” (126) as Gatsby himself says. She can only briefly entertain the thought of living outside of the luxury in which she has been raised before rejecting it. Fryer also wrote of Daisy's need of security: “Her need was not for any particular person... but simply for an attainable partner who could provide- through marriage- the sense of identity and stability she so desperately craved” (51). She would rather marry a man she had only lukewarm feelings about than one that could not provide that security.

Eveline, too, craves stability. Frank seems able to offer it; he has a home in Buenos Aires, where he has “fallen on his feet” (Joyce 133). Yet as they are about to board the ship, “all the seas of the world tumbled about her heart. He was drawing her into them: he would drown her” (135). The use of water as a metaphor seems especially significant in light Eveline's desire for stability. The water of the sea is ever-changing, never still, and she now believes that leaving with Frank will throw her onto the waves, not only literally, and she will lose the stability she needs, even more than she needs the respect she thought would be hers after her marriage. Eveline's hesitation, like her desire to marry Frank, has very little to do with Frank himself. Her main reason for leaving Ireland with Frank had been to escape her hard life, so “she would not be treated as her mother had been” (132). But, as Florence L. Walzl points out in the essay “Dubliners: Women in Irish Society,” in Joyce's work “mothers so influence or manipulate their daughters that, in effect, the young women relive their mothers' lives” (47). This manipulation is seen in Eveline's promise on “the last night of her mother's illness” (Joyce 134) and is what ultimately makes her choose staying with her father over leaving with Frank; there is greater stability for Eveline in pleasing her parents than in a financially secure marriage.

Both women are afraid to take risks. They have both been brought up to accept the position allotted to them by a patriarchal society without complaint or question. And, since this is all they have ever known, when faced with the opportunity for something new, they revert back to the familiar. For both Eveline and Daisy, what drew them to the unfamiliar and made them consider giving up that security was an idealized, romanticized image of the men onto whom they projected their longings. For Daisy, this longing was for freedom, and for Eveline, respect. But in the end they both choose to keep their lives as they are, which perhaps is for the best. Would Daisy really have been happy had she left Tom for Gatsby, assuming he hadn't been murdered? Would Eveline have found the respect and affirmation she so clearly longs for had she gone to Buenos Aires with Frank? The alternate endings that they ultimately rejected may not have brought them happiness, and who is to say that the lives they end up with won't, either? While they may have chosen submission, the point is that they chose.

Works Cited

Fitzgerald, F. Scott. The Great Gatsby. Harmondsworth, England: Penguin Books Limited, 1981.

Fryer, Sarah Beebe. “Beneath the Mask: the Plight of Daisy Buchanan.” Fitzgerald's New Women: Harbingers of Change. Ann Arbor, Michigan: UMI Research Press, 1988. 43-55.

Joyce, James. “Eveline.” Fiction: a Pocket Anthology. Ed. R.S. Gwynn. New York: Pearson Longman, 2007. 131-135.

Walz, Florence L. “Dubliners: Women in Irish Society.” Women in Joyce. Eds. Suzette Henke and Elaine Unkeless. Urbana, Illinois: University of Illinois Press, 1982. 31-54.

Yes, Rhonda, There is a Mr. Darcy

Dear Miss Austen,

I have lived twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex me, except that I have yet to find one who inspires my deepest affections. All of the young men I meet seem more similar to either Mr. Collins or Mr. Wickham, to varying degrees. I would be satisfied with a Mr. Bingley, but need I despair of ever finding my Mr. Darcy? Does he exist outside of novels?
If you say it is so I will believe it.

Rhonda Watts

***

My dear Miss Watts,

Never despair! It is true that in novels the greatest powers of the mind are displayed, and the most thorough knowledge of human nature, the happiest delineation of its varieties, the liveliest effusions of wit and humour conveyed to the world in the best chosen language. Yet it remains that novels are not life, and this intelligence, I gather, is from what your despair would spring. But in this great universe the truest measure of a woman is not of the everyday details of her life, but of her grasp of the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Rhonda, there is a Mr. Darcy. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and friendship exist, and you know that they abound and give your life its greatest happiness. Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Mr. Darcy. It would be as dreary as if there were no Miss Wattses. There would be no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. The eternal light with which the hope of young womanhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Mr. Darcy! You might as well not believe in love! You might go one and twenty years in the world searching for him, but even if you did not find him, what would that prove? No woman sees her Mr. Darcy until the time is right. The most real things in the world are those which we cannot see by searching.

You may have your Mr. Collinses and Mr. Wickhams and even your Mr. Bingleys, and hope that they are enough, but there does exist an affection which not the strongest man, or even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside the curtain and lead you to the affection you dream of. Is it all real? Ah, Miss Watts, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Mr. Darcy! Thank God he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Rhonda, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of womanhood.




Yours affectionately,
Jane Austen

Paging Bram Stoker...

"Dang it!" I muttered as the light turned red and I screeched to a halt. I turned down the volume so that The Killers' Hot Fuss came through my mom's car stereo a little softer. I had to get to Target. I had just finished reading Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. It was a paperback copy, so it had the first chapter of its sequel, New Moon, at the back. I had read that, too, right to its cliffhanger ending, so now I had to go buy the book at Target for $8.79.

I still had several hours before the store closed, yet there was a sense of urgency pushing me, compelling me, even as I sat at an intersection literally two minutes away. After an eternity the light turned green and literally two minutes later I was in the Target parking lot.

I almost ran to the back of the store, for once not even glancing at purses, clothes or shoes, even bypassing a rack of DVD's with a sign displaying their price, a tempting $7.50. I was relieved to find a copy of New Moon in stock in paperback. For a minute I entertained the idea of buying the third and fourth books in the series, too, to avoid repeating the agony I had just been through. But when I looked, I saw that the third book, Eclipse, was completely out of stock and the fourth, Breaking Dawn, its debut being only a couple of weeks old, was only available in hardcover. So, I picked up just the one volume and wandered around for a bit, trying to look casual, trying to convince myself more than the preoccupied shoppers around me.

Finally I meandered to the check-out lanes, grabbing a 20-ounce Coke and a package of Iced Tea Icebreakers on my way. There, standing in line, a morsel of guilt sneaked its way into my mind as I thought of my new copy of I Capture the Castle sitting at home on the coffee table, only the first two chapters having made it to the other side of my Post-it bookmark from the rest of its pages. "I didn't used to be like this," I thought. "I didn't used to abandon classic literature for teen vampire novels. What's wrong with me?"

* * *

That was almost a week ago, and I'm doing much better now. Even though I finished New Moon less than 48 hours after I bought it and then ordered the third and fourth books from Amazon (you save 5% by buying them together), I'm still waiting for them to come in. I've managed to pass the time, though.

I Capture the Castle is a lovely and delightful book, I've found, unlike anything I've ever read yet somehow deeply familiar. (If I had an older sister and a younger brother and a retired-author father and a twenty-nine-year-old stepmother who used to be an artists' model and we all lived together in a rundown Norman castle in England in 1948, this very blog might be remarkably similar to the first-person narrative of Dodie Smith's novel.)

Also in this time of waiting, I've had a chance to think about the dilemma I discovered in the check-out line at Target of reconciling vampires and classic literature. The solution is ridiculously obvious, as I'm sure most of my readers (meaning three out of the four of you) have already thought of and are now furiously shouting at your computer screens: "DRACULA!!!!"

Yes, Count Dracula, the infamous, ever ubiquitous title character of Bram Stoker's classic novel is perhaps the prototype, or at least a reference point, for the multitude of vampires in current pop culture. I first (and last) read Dracula as a high school senior determined to become well-read in classics beyond my Austen-Bronte-Alcott safety net, years before I discovered Buffy. (I was born half a decade too late to be in its initial target audience, so I've been borrowing the DVD's from a friend.) Vampires were completely off my radar, so I came to the novel with only a vague idea that vampire stories were weird and maybe a little creepy. I didn't like Dracula.

Fast forward three (gulp!- almost four) years and I'm hooked on a series of teen novels about vampires that are certainly a little weird (in a good way) but that I wouldn't really call creepy. They are fantasy, suspense, romance, but not horror. I find my Target check-out line guilt unfounded, for they are to me what I've discovered I Capture the Castle to be, though in a vastly different, rather darker package: escapism.

I put off writing this for as long as I could. I wrote songs and stories, poems and letters, but not this. I've put this off for so long because... How can I say goodbye? How can I say everything that is in my heart and echoes with each beat? Bring all of my memories from the back of my mind and put them on paper? For there are not many from my childhood that do not include you. You were always there for me, quiet but strong, another person to guide me, to teach me, to model for me a life of love and faith, the greatest gift you could have given me. And now, it is because of that gift that I can say goodbye, because I know it is not forever.

The night you left us, I wrote this: In the heart of my flesh I am a little girl who has lost her Papa. But in the heart of my spirit I know that we will meet again one day. Not as we were on Earth, but whole, our true selves, restored in the light of God's presence. Though my heart mourns a loss, you have gained Eternal Joy, and I rejoice for you. Until we are face to face in the land that shines brighter than the sun, I will continue to rejoice. I will live, I will laugh, I will pray, I will hope, I will dream, I will love, and I will remember you.

Rugrats

Note: this post is not finished.

I work at a child care center. I hear those sighs of pity. Working in a child care center is really a great way to get exercise, especially if you work with 12- to 18-month-olds like I do. It's also a great way to get some free entertainment during the day, because if you don't have anyone over the age of four to talk to, you can just mock the children. They can't tell you're mocking them. They're not even two yet; they can't talk and they can't even completely understand English yet. They also have a very underdeveloped sense of humor, so if they see a smile, they think it's a good thing and they smile too.

You can really say anything you want to a one-year-old as long as you have the right facial expression and tone of voice. For example, "You're a stinky little girl, aren't you? You smell like poop and tuna!" and, "Look at your big head! I can't believe your mommy found a shirt that fits over it! You're going to have a hard time walking with that thing weighing you down!" when said with a huge smile and in an excited tone are real crowd-pleasers.

There is also fun to be had with books. Reading to a one-year-old is practically fruitless. If it's your idea, they're almost never interested. If it's their idea, they usually just want to sit in your lap, hold the book upside-down, point at one picture for five minutes while yelling out several nonsense syllables, before turning the rest of the pages as fast as they can and then throwing the book across the room.

Set Me Apart

I wrote this song recently. I want to set up an Mp3 of a recording I made of it with Keith so you can all hear it, but for now, here are the lyrics.

(verse 1)
Lord You hear me when I call
And You catch me Every time I fall
But I want so much more
Could you show me what I'm looking for?

(Chorus)
Set me apart
My mouth with your words fill
Change my heart
Conform my mind to your will
Let me be a sanctuary dedicated unto you
Give me a brand new start
Set me apart

(verse 2)
Father There are things I've done
And I've taken glory from your Son
So I give it back to You
I want serve you in everything I do

A Leap-year Day Miracle!

A tradition in many European countries holds that on February 29th a woman may ask a man to marry her, and if he says no, he has to buy her a gift. With that in mind, I'm thinking of proposing to a bunch of guys, like maybe six or seven. Then when they all say no, I'll get them to all chip in and buy me one big gift, like, say, a laptop or a bass guitar. Of course, if one of them says yes, I'll have a problem.

Now for the miracle. Today is Friday.

Movies By the Book

In anticipation of Prince Caspian, which is being released in May of this year, I was reading a few articles about it online. I clicked on a few links and found this quiz: Which Chronicles of Narnia Character are You Most Like? Of course I took the quiz, and I found out I'm Lucy! She's my third favorite character, after Reepicheep and Jill, but looking at the other results it looks like they only used characters from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, so I'll take it!

There seems to be a trend lately of making films based on children's fantasy novels. It started with Harry Potter in 2001 (that's when the first Lord of the Rings film was released, too, but I don't know if it can be considered a children's book). By the end of 2005 there were a slough of others, including Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Five Children and It, Ella Enchanted, and the aforementioned LW&W.

This past holiday season saw the release of The Dark is Rising (based on the novel by Susan Cooper, which is really good) and The Golden Compass, which wasn't nearly as successful as all the hype predicted. I read the latter when I was younger, too (I never realized how many fantasy novels I read between the ages of 8 and 14 until they all started being made into movies!), and it was okay. As for the controversy surrounding Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy, all I have to say is this: the author is an atheist, but he wrote books about killing God. How can you kill God if He doesn't exist? Besides, like I said, the book is just okay, so it's not worth arguing over.

Any way, soon a film based on the Spiderwick series will be released. I haven't read any of these because I believe I was already at least in high school before the first one was published, and they have a slightly younger target audience. And, as I said before, the highly anticipated (at least by me) release of Prince Caspian is this May. Hollywood studios are probably going to milk this trend for all it's worth and keep making films based on children's fantasy novels as long as they can make money on them. Here are a few more children's fantasy novels that I think would make good movies.

The Prydain Chronicles by Lloyd Alexander
I read all five of these books in three days the summer I was eleven. Disney made an animated version of The Black Cauldron in (I think) the late 80's. It actually combined the plots of the first two books, The Book of Three and The Black Cauldron, but I think all five books should be filmed each as their own movie, and in live action. Not quite as good as Narnia, but almost, because the land of Prydain is based on ancient Wales!

The Enchanted Castle by E. Nesbit
This book was originally published in 1907, so it's a little older, but I remember devouring it when I read it for the first time at ten. Nesbit pretty much invented the three- to- five- children- find- a- magical- creature/ land/ object- and- have- adventures- while- learning- to- appreciate- each- other genre, and many authors since then and today, including C. S. Lewis and J. K. Rowling, owe something to her.

East by Edith Pattou
Based on a Norwegian fairy tale, this novel was actually written for teenagers, not children, but who's being technical? "East of the Sun and West of the Moon" has been one of my favorite fairy tales since I was seven. I wrote a review for Amazon.com that's really good. Read it here.

The Novels of Edgar Eager
Half Magic, its sequel Magic by the Lake and companion books Knight's Castle and The Time Garden; Magic or Not? and its sequel The Well Wishers; and Seven Day Magic, which stands on its own, are all great books. Eager gives credit where credit's due: he mentions E. Nesbit's work at least once in every novel and recognizes her influence on children's fantasy.

The Once and Future King by T. H. White

The first part of this novel, The Sword in the Stone, has been Disney-ized, back when Disney was still respectable (I mean that in the best way possible). White based his book on Sir Thomas Mallory's Le Morte d'Artur, the definitive work on Camelot legends. I know, there are a lot of King Arthur movies out there already. The story of Arthur, Gueneviere, and Lancelot is probably one of the most-used in literature and film (outranked only by Romeo and Juliet and maybe Pride and Prejudice). But I think this is a different angle on the tale. Besides, after the disappointment of 2004's King Arthur, we deserve a good Camelot movie, so it should either be this or a remake of the Camelot musical.

The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley

Again, a book that's technically for teens, but I've seen it in the children's section of several libraries. This book will make an amazing movie, and not one that just kids will like. It has everything any reader of fantasy expects: magic, epic battles, quests and tournaments, mystery, lore, even a little romance, and it has the added bonus of being a story from a female perspective, something we need more of. McKinley wrote a prequel titled The Hero and the Crown that takes place hundreds of years earlier. It was good, but not as good.

I might just have to write the screenplays myself.

Story Time

As some of you may know, I am planning on going to Central this fall. I'm also planning to pay my tuition... somehow. I've researched scholarships and I found this one that seems like I could possibly have a chance of getting it.

It's the L. Ron Hubbard (yep, the Scientology guy) Future Authors Award. You're supposed to write a science fiction or fantasy short story and then four winners each year receive $1000 and then of those four a grand prize winner receives an additional $5000. Sounds great, right? My only question was: how am I going to write a science fiction or fantasy story that's good enough to win such a prestigious award?

The rules of the contest state that you can't use worlds or characters created by other authors (plagiarism, who knew?) so there goes my Pride & Predator idea (Lizzy Bennet takes out the Predators- they've been on Earth since, like, 1823 or something, remember? So it wouldn't be that much of a stretch- and then maybe we'd find out that Caroline Bingley is a Terminator). I assumed that Greek Mythology was public domain, and I thought it might be fun to play around with, but I couldn't really come up with a story based on it that wasn't completely lame.

But then, last night during my shift at Maple Valley Library, I noticed a book titled Time Lord. I was intrigued, so I pulled it off the shelf. The subtitle is "Sir Sanford Fleming and the Creation of Standard Time." He's the guy who came up with the Prime Meridian and time zones. Interesting... from time zones, a fascinating and very real concept, it's just a small leap of the imagination to time travel, a fascinating and very science fiction concept. I can use that.

I don't really have a story yet, but I have the concept, and that's the hook. Story telling has never been that big of a problem for me; I think I can come up with something pretty good. And if the story is pretty good at least, I think I have a decent shot at the scholarship. It's just motivating myself to actually write the dang thing that I'll have to work on.

Maybe when I finish I'll post it on here. Stay tuned!

If I Were a TV Exec...

So Keith already posted about this, our TV on DVD prime time schedule to help us survive the writers' strike (seriously, it's about time the studios gave in), but I decided to post our schedule, too, with my comments. Beacuse I'm more interesting.

Sunday

Malcolm in the Middle

This is a sitcom like no other. Even if you don't have any brothers, even if your parents are relatively normal, and even if you're a girl it's hilarious.

The Simpsons

Ah, the classic, original animated sitcom about a family even more dysfunctional than yours. May it live forever.

The X-Files

This was such a good show! Why the bleep did Mulder leave?

Masterpiece Classic: The Complete Jane Austen (new episodes)

New Austen adaptations hosted by Dana Scully? I'm there!

Monday- Space Night

Firefly

I just can't say enough about this show. I can't say enough about how amazing it is and I can't say enough about how stupid FOX is for cancelling it.

Space: Above and Beyond

I've never seen this one. Keith says it's good, though. Plus, it goes with the space theme.

Battlestar Galactica

Frak, I'm not going to get through them all before the new season! Oh, well, I already read in TV Guide that Tyrol's a cylon, so what's the point?

Tuesday

Scrubs

Frick, this is the last season! I wonder if J.D. and Elliot are going to be like Ross and Rachel.

The Office (BBC)

So much funnier than the American version's first season. And if you watch it about four times, you start to actually understand what they're saying.

Keen Eddie

Another show that I don't know very much about, but, honestly, even if it sucks, I'll enjoy mocking it mercilessly.

Chuck

Save the computer geek, save the world!

Wednesday- Girls Who Kick Butt Night

Dark Angel

I've seen about half the first season of this one and I have to say I like it. I tried to convince Keith that in this time slot we should have the original Girl Who Kicks Butt (Buffy, of course), but he wasn't going for it.

Alias

This is the show that made me want to be a CIA agent for about two months in tenth grade. It really jumped the shark, though, toward the end.

Veronica Mars

Veronica Mars!

Thursday- Girls Who Kick Less Butt Night (and Heroes)

What I Like About You

Amanda Bynes: hilarious. The show: okay.

30 Rock

Tina Fey is my hero. I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Gilmore Girls

I own all seven seasons of this show. If we watch one episode a week, that's enough for almost three years of striking writers. We will survive!

Heroes

Seriously, what happened in the second season? The first was so good!

Friday- TGIF, Watts Style!

Friday Night Lights

Who would have thought I would like a show about football? Not me! (Okay, I guess it's not really about football, but it has that as its cover, kind of like Jerry Maguire.)

Dead Like Me

I just bought the first season on DVD and Keith has probably already finished it as I write this. So, I don't know if it will stay in this time slot. We might have to pick something else. (Buffy! Buffy! Buffy!)

Arrested Development

I just can't say enough about this show. I can't say enough about how amazing it is and I can't say enough about how stupid FOX is for cancelling it. (Hey, is there an echo in here?)

How I Met Your Mother

I know, I'm surprised, too. A good sitcom on CBS? Described by a staff writer for Entertainment Weekly as the perfect sitcom, this is the perfect show to cap off the week.

Saturday

Miniseries and/or movie

We own about a kajillion movies plus a few miniseries (BBC's Pride and Prejudice, Dune, Children of Dune, and a few History Channel productions), so we thought we should give them some time in our schedule. Ahhh, movies.

So, that's the lineup. I'll repeat Keith's invitation to come on over if you want to watch something. Happy viewing!

The Moment Christmas Happens

December 13, 2000

Every year, the Christmas Spirit hits me in a different way. Sometimes with a song, others with a Christmas movie, and still others with the decor of the season. But this year was different. The other day I was sitting in math class and absentmindedly humming the tune of "O Come All Ye Faithful." Taking a bit more notice, I began to sing the words softly. I was on the second verse, the part where it says, "Glory to God, Glory in the highest," when it hit me. Christmas isn't simply about songs, religious or secular, or movies, or trees. Sure, it's about those things, too, but the true, original reason for celebrating Christmas is Jesus. Jesus deserves all the attention we give to the extra stuff like songs and movies. He deserves all the glory. Jesus deserves everything we can give Him and more. He is the way, the truth and the life. No one can go to God except through Jesus. And it was through Jesus, in a stable in Bethlehem 2000 years ago, that God came to us. That is what Christmas is all about.

December 6, 2007

It's not always with music, though. Sometimes Christmas happens when I'm standing in the check-out line at Bartel Drugs to buy a copy of TV Guide, while the heady scent of magazine perfume samples mingles with the rich aroma of fifty-cent chocolate bars, and the sight of a child giving his precious handful of change to a Salvation Army Santa nearly brings tears to my eyes.

But for me, Christmas does happen with music a lot. Like when I'm driving home from work one night listening to Nat King Cole's version of "Silent Night" and singing along, my pure alto skimming over Nat's smooth baritone: "Radiance beams from thy holy face/ With the dawn of redeeming grace/ Jesus, Lord at thy birth..."

This year it happened with music again. I was lying on my bed listening to Rebecca st. James' Christmas album. It might be my favorite Christmas album, or at least in my top five. It's ten years old, and most of the songs sound totally nineties (think faux-grunge and drum machines). But it's worth it for the non-traditional renditions of classic carols, a soulful "Sweet Little Jesus Boy," a satisfying cover of John Lennon's "Happy Christmas," and the ethereal beauty of st. James' version of "Silent Night."

Christmas happened as I listened to the last song on the album, titled "A Cradle Prayer." In the liner notes of the CD, st. James writes: "Imagine yourself, sitting by baby Jesus' cradle on the night He was born, and singing to Him everything you were feeling inside... the lyrics just flowed onto the paper."

As I lay there listening to the words, "Jesus I love you, my Lord, my life... Here in the quiet, the still of the night/ I am in awe of you," I began to wonder what I would say if I had been there the night Jesus was born, while the heady scent of fresh-cut hay mingled with the rich aroma of cow manure, how the sight of a Child giving His precious life for the salvation of the world would bring tears to my eyes, even as it did in my own time and place. Could I say anything at all? Or would I simply gaze in speechless wonder at the Creator of the Universe lying in a feeding trough with a teen-aged girl, a carpenter, some guys who watched sheep for a living, and a bunch of livestock for company?

Jesus came to Earth in the most humble way possible, but I have a sneaking suspicion that even cloaked in ordinariness, the Christ Child was still an awesome sight to behold, and I would be incapable of forming a coherent sentence when faced with His physical, visible presence. But, fortunately, Rebecca st. James already wrote exactly what I would be thinking: "Why would you, Creator and King/ Come as a baby for all, for me?/ Beautiful Savior my God, my friend/ I am in awe of you."

And in that moment of awe and complete wonder, that is when Christmas happens.